When young, we look to our attachment figures (usually a parent/guardian) to let us know we're safe and we can consistently rely on them.  Once we're grown, we can mostly take care of our own survival needs though the emotional yearning for safe attachment and intimacy still remains.  Over the course of one's life, feelings and beliefs toward attachment can become confused and traumatized by varying experiences.  Therapy can help individuals examine their own attachment wounds and needs.  Having your partner alongside as you do that work can be vulnerable but necessary for the healing of your relationship.

I encourage my clients to take responsibility for their own actions while still finding appropriate ways for their partner to fulfill attachment needs.  Together we will find effective ways to approach conflict, communicate better and connect more deeply.  By no means an exhaustive list, below are some common situations for couples I have worked with.  If any of them sound like your relationship, please reach out.

• There has been instances of infidelity and your relationship cannot move through it, no matter how hard you try

• Small disagreements can turn very big, very fast

• You feel as if your relationship is simply "going through the motions"

• Your partner and you have different needs for connection and intimacy

• Having a child, caring for a family member, or another life event has created distance in your relationship

• Approaching the subject of sex makes one of you angry and/or shut down

• It is difficult to be vulnerable with one another, but you would like to be

• Drug or alcohol abuse has created a toxic environment for your family

• You generally feel unloved, unappreciated, or "not heard" by your partner